Things That are on My Mind

Hard Times Thursday

2012-02-16T08:24:00.002-06:00

Haiku Monday: Long Day

2012-02-14T09:17:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was rough
The haikus are late, shut up
I do this for free

Taught eight horn lessons
Some were uncoop'rative
And some were brain dead

A branding event
Administrative speeches
Signify nothing

Played background music
After we played, we were stuck
Sitting in the dark

Brass quintet rehearsed
From six to eight on Monday
Just like every week

Leave my place by 6
Hard to find motivation
And nobody paid

Her head is shaped weird
She's right in my line of sight
Trying not to stare

Oh- I get it now
We're not friends outside of class
That's just fine with me

Love and Martians, Love and Martians, Love and Martians

2012-02-13T17:22:00.000-06:00

I think I'm more or less out of my malaise, at least for the moment.
From Thursday to Saturday I was at the Texas Music Educators Association Conference (hereafter referred to as TMEA). That was an interesting experience, for a number of reasons.
1) The reason I was there
The University of North Texas Symphony Orchestra was selected to perform a 45-minute concert at the conference. The pieces we played were:
Tchaikovsky Violin Concerto- mvt. 1 (only the first movement because of the time constraint
R. Strauss Don Juan
Adams Short Ride in a Fast Machine

All three are challenging pieces for different reasons: The Tchaikovsky demands paying close attention to the soloist and reacting to the musical decisions he makes- even the ones he makes on the spot. The Strauss is a very well-known piece that requires absolute attention for the entire piece- all 20 minutes of it. The Adams is filled with complicated rhythms layered on top of other complicated rhythms. When the semester started, I was excited to see that I had been assigned second part on the Strauss and fourth part on the Tchaikovsky. Over the break, I had listened to the Adams, and was more or less pleased to be able to sit and listen to it. That didn't work out, though.
Two rehearsals from the performance, the principal horn asked me to assist her on the first part. I was apprehensive, but said okay. The only part I was really needed on was the final page. I wanted to chicken out and say I couldn't do it, but I ended up doing it anyway.
Now, we had done a pre-TMEA performance, which went pretty well. The TMEA performance was pretty good too.
The Tchaikovsky went well, the fantastic cadenza was truncated, but getting to hear it at the first performance was enough to impress me. Following in rehearsals was always difficult, requiring a lot of concentration, because the conductor wasn't always signaling everything, and the soloist was seeing how much he pulling and pushing he could get away with. Whatever happened in the concerts, adrenaline, dumbing down, whatever it was, I found it a lot easier to keep track of where I was.
The Don Juan is a lot of fun to play right, but it's miserable to mess up. Not to make excuses, but it's hard to hear everything that's going on, adjust accordingly, and be able to play at the same time. Now, a quick word about the difference between tone poems, like Don Juan, and symphonies.
A tone poem tells a story- in this case, the story of Don Juan, a Spanish nobleman who got around with the ladies. The story is a very old one- it was old when Strauss wrote the piece. The story has been told and retold by a lot of authors, emphasizing a lot of different points. In some of the versions, Don Juan (the character) gets dragged down into hell as the result of his sins. In the poem version that Strauss based his tone poem on, the Don gets old- a fate worse than death for a man who defines his usefulness and vitality by his sexuality and youth.
Anyway, symphonies don't inherently have a story. Some do, but they're really the exception rather than the rule. Symphonies are (again, mostly, but not always) multi-movement pieces, where tone poems are continuous. Where most tone poems last around half an hour, symphonies are mostly longer than that (there are older exceptions, but I mean the later 18th century, 19th century, and contemporary ones).
It was nice to get away from this university setting and get into the wider world of horn. The convention itself wasn't that wider world- it's pretty much like every other music educators convention that I've been to. With that said, I've only been to the Missouri Music Educators Association convention. They're basically the same, except for size. TMEA has a lot more things going on and the convention is held in San Antonio, so there are lots of things to do when you're not at the conference. MMEA is held at Tan Tar A, a resort in a tiny town- the only thing to do other than the convention is to drink or to buy a boat at one of Osage Beach's disproportionately large number of boat stores.
With all that said, MMEA is much more efficient. It manages to get the self-congratulatory feel with much fewer people, exhibits, and clinics. In my view, these conventions aren't really educational, they're a networking opportunity. For me, I already know enough people, and I don't really see how schmoozing with a bunch of band directors who are trying to impress each other is going to further my career.
There was one horn-specific booth that I really enjoyed going to. I tried some horns, talked to some horn players, and that was exciting to me, speaking a language that I know to people who also know it. In addition, I called a friend of mine who is no longer at this university, and got a dose of reality from him. He's a great resource, has a ton of playing experience, and expresses himself very well. I'm lucky to know him.
So, for the moment, I'm feeling better, out of my malaise. There is a world outside of the path I've chosen, and I think that I might be able to find a place that keeps me engaged, learning, and having fun.

Helicopter Rescue Thursday

2012-02-09T18:51:00.002-06:00

Worn Out

2012-02-08T20:47:00.004-06:00

I'm in the middle of a malaise.
Actually, I don't really know where the middle is- I'd have to know where the end is to determine the middle.
Anyway, I don't know if I really want to do music for the rest of my life. It's just not fun any more. It feels like a job, sometimes it's interesting, but it's mostly just dull.
As the result of this malaise, I'm seriously considering moving to another line of work. However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm unqualified to do anything at all. I have a degree and a half in music, but those don't really mean anything when it comes to being qualified for a job. Essentially, I'm 25 years old with no relevant work experience. Sure, I've had jobs teaching kids horn lessons, but I highly doubt that companies will look on that with any kind of positive thought.
If you have any suggestions about what other career fields I should look into, please leave a comment.

Haiku Monday: Periodic Table, vol. 2

2012-02-06T18:30:00.002-06:00

Not like the network
You need it to stay alive
Oxygen's neat stuff

Prevents tooth decay
Some chemists died to find it
The fluorine martyrs

Inert noble gas
Glows red when electrified
Means "new one" in Greek

Highly reactive
Necessary to make soap
Sodium: free metal

Its ions taste tart
Found in mineral water
Magnesium... bleh

Resists corrosion
Strong, light weight- it's useful stuff
Please recycle it

It's used in circuits
Ubiquitous Silicon
Let's not forget boobs

Jazz Standard Thursday

2012-02-02T15:32:00.001-06:00

Haiku Monday: Excuses

2012-01-30T17:20:00.003-06:00

My internet is down
Building's router bit the dust
No choice but to wait

I've done lots of these
But I haven't run out yet
Wow, the pressure's on

Oops, that was my bad
I know that perfectly well
I saw the whole thing

Dropped the ball on that
It was almost a sure thing
... The sun was in my eyes?

Everyone noticed
Try to think of a reason
No excuse. I'm dumb.

Well, sometimes you rock
That's what Parham said to me
And sometimes you roll

You always miss them
All of the shots you don't take
Shut up, Wayne Gretzky

What the Internet Hath Wrought

2012-01-29T15:22:00.001-06:00

I took piano lessons from elementary school through high school. I'm not a great pianist, but I learned a lot. Occasionally, I remember a rant that one of my piano teachers went on about the homogenization of American culture. She said that the internet was to blame for destroying the unique pockets of culture that once existed in America. At the time, I found it kind of interesting, but didn't really think that I agreed. Out of respect, and out of lack of a codified response, I didn't say anything.
Since it's been on my mind recently, I thought I'd go ahead and say what I think.
Culture, in and of itself, leads to homogenization. The second that one person first used language to convey some meaning to another, we started in that direction. What was once two separate persons' perceptions of a thing or an idea was suddenly one thing. Simply by communicating, we give up something of our individuality, trying to put indescribable thoughts and feelings into words.
Let me give you a real life situation- I saw the most beautiful woman I've ever seen on the campus of Arizona State University. I tried to explain what she looked like to a friend of mine, but, as I described her, she became less beautiful. If you were to take the picture of her that I carry around in my head, and compare it to the way I described her, you'd laugh at me. Sure, I can use words to describe aspects of her, but I can't communicate to you how perfectly all of the parts of her came together to make her the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. The best I can do is to try to make a rough outline, surrounding the thoughts and feelings that went through my head (and other parts) when I saw her.
While I was describing her to my friend, I realized all of this and gave up, saying that the more I tried to describe her, the more I messed her up. I wanted to leave her perfect.
The next step in communication, after speech, is writing, which served to further homogenize culture. If I write something down, a lot more people can get it than if I just say it out loud. Before writing, the most valued kind of intelligence was memory. Even through the time of the ancient Romans, memory was greatly valued because there were so few books, so little was written down, that the more you remembered, the smarter you were. When books are readily available, you don't have to remember as much, you just have to refer back to the book. Not being over 1,500 years old, I doubt that my piano teacher was referring back to this time as the good old days.
After people figured out books, there were a large number of significant technological advancements that improved communication. Telegraph, telephone, radio, television, and candy gram all served the same purpose as communication originally did- to give information that one individual has to other individuals. Of course, I'm not going to make any statements about the quality of that information- fact, opinion, sales-based, whatever. Problems with the quality of the content aren't related to the medium of communication.
Basically, my point is that the internet was the next logical step in the process. Sure, it has made some things obsolete, but there are still independent cultures on the internet. It's way too big for anyone to have seen everything. Sure there are benchmarks, but there's just too much content. Think about the sites you visit on a regular basis- they're probably not the same sites I look at. There are conventions of that site- jokes, shorthand, jargon, etc. that comes from that site that an outsider wouldn't understand. So, there are still cultures. The thing is that the internet has made geography irrelevant. Before nationally syndicated television and radio, each area had its own "flavor" of programming that reflected the area. That's still true to some extent- when I drive home, I find that rural Oklahoma has a lot of country music stations, and not so many classical, rap, or hard rock stations. This, I believe, can be taken as an indication of the culture of the area. The internet is similar, except that anyone can access any site from anywhere (granted, there are some exceptions). There are still localized cultures, but they're located around sites, not places. In some ways, this is nice- if you lived in rural Oklahoma and (with good reason) hated country music, you don't have a lot of options as far as FM radio, but if you're on the internet and don't like cat videos or pornography, there are still a couple dozen sites that you can read.
It's not that anything has changed. It's not that anything hasn't changed. It's just that our medium of communication is a little different. People are still saying the same things the same way as they always have. We're just more able to selectively ignore things.

Haiku Monday: My Birthday

2012-01-23T14:16:00.001-06:00

Turning 25
I didn't have a freakout
But maybe I should

Quarter century
It's really not very much
In the scheme of things

Feeling old these days
Probably because I teach
Kids are really dumb

Stuff I meant to do
There's an awful lot of it
Well, maybe next year.

My Birthday plans?
Homework, watch movies alone
Get some takeout food

I'm so far from home
And don't have any friends here
It's okay most days

The angel food cake
Every year- it's tradition
My Mom makes them well

Three birthdays this week
The twenty-third, -fifth, and -sixth
Mine, Kevin's, Tess's

Mish Mash Thursday

2012-01-19T12:28:00.000-06:00

An interesting combination of Western, African, Middle Eastern, and Eastern influences by a French duo singing in English.

This is Fantastic News

2012-01-19T09:10:00.003-06:00

It's so cool.

Haiku Monday: Martin Luther King, Jr (vol II)

2012-01-16T12:49:00.000-06:00

I did this last year
But this guy is a big deal
Thus, the holiday

We shall overcome
The anthem of the day rang
One voice, from many

The Nobel Peace Prize
Youngest person to win it?
Martin Luther King

He studied Ghandi
Used nonviolent resistance
Advised by Rustin

An "agitator"
Things changed when King was involved
The man got results

King on Politics:
Neither party is perfect
Both have weaknesses

1968

Senseless act turns man to saint

He saw the Mountaintop

Haiku Monday: Periodic Table, vol. 1

2012-01-09T19:07:00.000-06:00

The most abundant
First recognized by Cavendish
What stars are made of

Colorless, inert
Heads up the noble gasses
Makes your voice sound weird

Silver-white metal
Never found free in nature
Makes some strong alloys

Strong, lightweight, brittle
It's a hardening agent
Beryllium's neat

Tough to find boron
Only made by cosmic rays
It's used in Borax

We're all carbon-based
Four electrons to form bonds
And it uses them

It's most of the air

Don't get too much of it, though

Nitrogen can kill

Reaction to an Editorial

2012-01-08T13:46:00.002-06:00

This morning, the Washington Post ran an editorial called, "God's Quarterbacks" about the evangelism of a couple of NFL quarterbacks. Following the recent wave of Santorum, what seems to be an interesting human interest editorial is probably actually a calculated political move.
Despite his strong showing in Iowa, Santorum is a looney. After a long dry spell, evangelicals once again have representation in the public eye. Unfortunately, that representation is a hawkish, vitriolic windbag. He's unlikeable, which is part of his gambit. Just like the people who say, "I tell it like it is" to justify being mean, Santorum, a calculating politician, is counting on rubbing some people the wrong way to get the people he wants to hate him to hate him so that the knee-jerk reaction will push the people who don't like the people who don't like him, to elect him. It's a very, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" kind of approach, and we'll see if it works. There's almost no way he can win New Hampshire, where he's currently putting his resources.
These quarterbacks are more in the public eye than Santorum (after all, who wants Santorum in their eye?), because more people watch football than vote.
The editorial ends by saying the evangelicals vote their faith, rather than voting party. I don't think that's true at this point. It might have been a few decades ago, but the evangelicals long ago sold their souls in exchange for political power. That's not even true, most evangelicals probably don't really even care about politics, but that's not what the folks yelling on the steps of the temple would have you believe.
Everybody wants to rule the world. If not personally, then vicariously, through a person who thinks the way they do. Ultimately, I think we all want everyone to see the world the way we do. We're all a product of the world in which we have lived. Your experiences up to this point either challenge or confirm your world view. When something challenges your world view, you change it to accommodate this new information, or disregard it as an anomaly. Evangelicals work this way, just like anybody else. When anyone hears that someone who thinks like they do is running for office, they support that person. Some members of the Republican Party decided that it would be politically expedient to present themselves as Evangelical Christians. I'm not saying that no politician is genuine in those beliefs, I just think a lot of them aren't.
A few years ago, I did odd jobs for a well-off guy. Yard work, painting, cleaning, gardening, the kind of things that he didn't really feel like doing. It was (and still is) a big deal to this guy that he spend his money at Christian businesses. When we went places he would generally spend a lot of money, so when I would go in with him, the owner would come out and talk to him and do a lot of Jesus talk. This was especially odd when it came from people whose establishments I had been in before and hadn't heard that kind of talk from. My assumption is that they turned it on and off, based on how well it suited their interests at the time. Politicians have done the same thing to the larger group over the past few decades.
Basically, Evangelicals have been taken advantage of. They're a group of people who have been sold a bill of goods- namely, that the GOP is the only group who will preserve their way of life; everyone else is a threat.
Metaphorically, it's easy to get Evangelicals to catch fire, like oil does literally. When people figured out oil was an easy to find and cheap source of energy, they went after it to try to get ahead. When politicians figured out they could capitalize from Evangelicals, they went after them.
It could just as easily have been atheists. The reason it wasn't is that atheists weren't as organized at the time, they didn't meet regularly. In fact, they're probably next. While I have my disagreements with either group's ideology, it saddens me that the group mentality brings down real people of any thought process and leaves them open to this kind of calculated political maneuver. When people like Rick Santorum are the symbol of a group like that, it compromises the appeal of the group. When the representatives are handsome sports figures, it makes it just a little easier for the political system to take advantage of people. All in all, this editorial is a well-played move by David Kuo and Patton Dodd to shift the attention away from an unlikeable political flash in the pan and on to a couple of more personable guys who will still be on the television after the Republican convention.

So What?

2012-01-08T10:58:00.001-06:00

For the first time in history, information is readily available to anyone, anywhere. Essentially, geography is not an excuse any more. You don't have to be near a world-class library to be able to find things out, you just need a computer and an internet connection.
Leaving aside the credibility conundrum, today, we have unprecedented access to information and media. Originally, you were a product of what you could remember. The books were at a library, or on a shelf. The information was physical, and your proximity to it affected how you could get to it. Not only that, but you had to remember everything. The information you used was important to know, the more you could remember, the better off you were. Today, everything is available regardless of information. Obscure information is easily accessible by anyone. And memory is no longer an issue because people can easily look things up on the spot.
One of the information sharing resources at our disposal is youtube. Anyone can post anything. It's a huge community, just about any interest can find a niche on youtube (there are a few exceptions, including pornography).
Among the things I consider myself, I include an aspiring horn player. As a result, I'm fairly familiar with the online horn community. With that said, I don't think it's possible for anyone to know a whole online community- things are just too big. Anyway, this video has been making the rounds for the past couple of years:

Now, I'm not really pleased to be posting this video here and contributing views to this guy's ego trip, but I want to make a point.
So what? This video does nothing to demonstrate music. Ostensibly, music expresses something, whether that's some grand message, or just expressing that the performer and/or composer is/are having fun. We learn to play instruments so that we can express ourselves. Unfortunately, we often get bogged down in learning the instrument, instead of it being just a means to an end. This video, to me, is a celebration of the worst aspects this system. Technique for technique's sake, no meaning, no expression, no humanity. Ego, of course, is emotion, the province of human beings, and this video is rife with warrantless egotism.
Speaking of ego, take a look at this video, which you've almost certainly seen by now:

Kobe Bryant. Basketball player, shoe salesman, accused rapist. Now, I find this video impressive. The man jumped over a moving car. I well realize that the video may very well be fake, but it's the spirit of it that i'm interested in. The video is impressive not only for its technique, but for the context of artistry. I don't watch a lot of basketball, but I have seen Kobe Bryant play. He's good. There is an underlying concept of what to the way he does what he does. He has a plan, each movement is connected to the next one, a means to an end to achieve his goal. Not only do I understand the athlete Kobe Bryant, I've seen the persona of Kobe Bryant. He's a cocky, full of himself jerk. He's unlikeable as a person, but he's not a person. He's a caricature, a larger than life character who isn't publicly concerned about his amiability, he wants you to hate him, as long as you're thinking about him. As long as he's on television and keeps getting that sweet green. I understand the context of this athlete, and I'm impressed with this one feat because of that. If it were just some guy doing this, it wouldn't be as impressive, it wouldn't have gotten the views it did. This video was big because it connected the athlete with the singular impressive display of technique.
There are a lot of people out there. With the invention of the internet, not even the invention, but the connection that have resulted, it's a lot easier to see all of the people who are part of your community; it's easy to see everyone who's competing with you. It's necessary to make yourself stand out if you want to get anywhere in your field. Not only do you want to stand out, you don't want to stand out in the wrong way. How do you do that.
Not like this.
The big mistake that the first guy makes is not being a musician. He's just being a machine. We see that he can do something impressive, but we don't see what good it is. It's the equivalent of being lifting weights but not being able to do anything with those muscles you've got. I can see and hear that you can do something that is, on a superficial level, impressive, but I don't know what good that is. Put it in context. Show me that you can not only do something, but that that something is meaningful and can be put to good use. Since this is specifically music, show me that you can play good music with large leaps. Show me that this skill isn't just a skill in a vacuum, that it's a tool to be used- and show me the use.
I heard a story about a former fourth horn player in the New York Philharmonic who said that he didn't play above the staff because there are enough people in the section who can do that. He didn't need to do this kind of superficial trick to win a job with one of the top orchestras in the world. This video demonstrated three things- low range, high range, and ability to jump between the two. This New York Philharmonic hornist didn't need two of the major elements of the video. He got the job because he's a good musician. Now, there are plenty of excellent musicians without professional playing jobs; that's not the only measure of how good a player really is. Telling how good a musician is is subjective, and there are as many definitions as there are players out there- different combinations of the same elements, no two being alike. However, I don't see any musical qualities in this video, just a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

A Brief History of Patter Song

2012-01-07T21:05:00.001-06:00

By no means the first patter song, but one that pretty much defines it. There are other

In middle school, I got a copy of a collection of Gilbert and Sullivan's operettas (short operas) performed the D'Oyly Carte Company, which was formed to perform the G&S operettas. Not having any friends in middle school, I memorized almost the whole CD. Yup, that's how cool I am.
Anyway, patter songs are more about the words than the music. The "patter" designation comes from the high number of syllables crammed into the music. There isn't a lot of trickiness about where the beat is, it's straightforward in the music, the lyrics are what you should be paying attention to.
Because they're so catchy, patter songs are a real part of our collective experience. I'd even go so far as to say that every decade that sums kind of documents things. Sure, there are probably other songs that do the same thing, but if you want to give a more in-depth look at those, write them in the comments, or in your own blog. I'm starting fairly late because of the ballads that tended to dominate popular music through the 1940s. The 1950s is about half that, and half of the beginnings of Rock and Roll. I'm sure there are those songs, I just can't think of them off the top of my head. I could do research, but this blog isn't called "Carefully Crafted and Well Thought Out Opinions." Take what you can get. It's free.

1970s:
Growing up, I heard this one quite a bit, because my Mom really likes it. Whomever did the video for this one did a really good job.

1980s:
This one is a little less familiar to me. Mostly because my parents didn't really like the 80s, and I think they're right in that. It was a largely worthless decade and I'm glad that I missed most of it... well, all of it if you consider that I wasn't really aware of what was going on. Still, this is a pretty decent song.

1990s:
The youtube embedding on this one has been disabled, so here's a link to the real one if you'd rather watch a video that doesn't make a lot of sense.
Anyway, here are the lyrics:

And then, if you're of a certain age, you probably identify with this patter song:

If you have additions to the list, please feel free to leave them in the comments.
Admittedly, I don't keep up with what the kids are listening to nowadays, but it seems to me that with the popularity and general hip-hopification of popular music, the separation between song and patter song has blurred. The charm of a patter song is gone because the formula is successful and, as a result of that success, the market has been saturated. I've said before, and I'll probably say again that there is some really good rap out there, some performers who do creative things and actually have something to say. Unfortunately, most of them don't and, as often happens, the spectacle has overtaken the substance.
In 15 years or so, after we've moved on to something else, maybe there will be a place for patter songs again. People burned out on disco, people will burn out on hip hop. Luckily, there are lots of other things to listen to besides top 40 radio
Spreading news and documenting events was a big part of music in the Renaissance. Patter songs largely fill that function for pop culture, in a clever sort of way.

Thanks, Eric.

2012-01-05T12:00:00.001-06:00

Today, I decided to check how my blog was doing. I had 5,999 hits. Just one more.
So, I texted the three people whose numbers I have who read this blog. Instantly, Eric helped me out and texted back he had it taken care of. I refreshed the page, and there it was: 6,000 page views.
In celebration of this mile stone, here's a picture of one of the two times I've ever seen Eric drink water:

Reminds me of Chase Thursday

2012-01-05T09:03:00.000-06:00

This is the kind of thing I could see Chase making if he owned the necessary equipment.

Haiku Monday: 2012

2012-01-01T15:31:00.003-06:00

First post of the year

Lower your expectations

My blog won't improve

Wow. So this is it.
Last one before the world ends
Better make it count

Who am I kidding?
I'll probably squander this
The same as last year

I'd like to lose weight
I lost 20 pounds last year
Try for 20 more

I'm not a smoker
Saving me money and time
Let's keep that going

No friends in Denton
So I get lonely sometimes
Look for distractions

Finish this degree
It seems to drag on and on
What happens after?

Turning 25
Most of my friends have freaked out
They expect me to

Where do I go next?
I have so many options
So indecisive

Try to be better
Starting to get complacent?
Shake things up a bit

Mike Tyson Thursday

2011-12-29T08:28:00.000-06:00

Since he retired from boxing, he seems to be proving either that he has a sense of humor about himself, or that he has no idea what's going on. Either way, it's entertaining and makes him seem kind of harmless, and not at all the same man who bit both of Evander Holyfield's ears. I'm having some trouble reconciling the two.

Haiku Monday: Chill

2011-12-26T16:21:00.000-06:00

We started with cool
And then proliferated
Now we're where we are

Not in any rush
No pressure on me today
I'm on vacation

Sky is gray, air: cold
Rained. Not cold enough for snow
Smell of burning leaves

Take it as it comes
No need to stress yourself out
Life's funny that way

Time in the cooler
Solitary confinement
British slang, I think

Have some leftovers?
They last longer when they're cold
Keep them in the fridge

Sunk the Titanic
It was a really big one
And that's just the tip

Remarkable Similarity: They're at It Again

2011-12-26T16:10:00.001-06:00

I admit, this one is subtle. Listen to the length of phrases and the direction those phrases take. Don't focus on the guitar (or lack of guitar), listen to the chord progression and the vocals.

Pragmatic Holidays

2011-12-24T13:45:00.001-06:00

Not long ago, a friend of one of my siblings got married. The ceremony was about a year after the friend's high school graduation. Because I've been out of the state because of school, I wasn't able to make it to the wedding. This was just as well because I hate weddings, and most other formalized ceremonies for that matter. My Mom told me that the ceremony seemed like an idealized kind of thing that the bride put together from movies and television shows she'd seen. Like she had tried to come close to the idea that has been sold to us. Instead of a meaningful ceremony, this thing had become a spectacle.
Sure, there's precedent for that, the nobility in previous centuries put things together for the sake of showing how much money they had. I can't speak for every artistic medium, but music has benefitted greatly from that kind of culture. Nobles employed composers to write great music for them, better music than rival nobles, and those composers have produced some fantastic music. The Catholic Church even got involved, as various Cardinals employed composers to write music for their cathedrals, works of increasing size and complexity, which pushed the medium to explore new possibilities. Remember Bach? Yeah, he was employed by a cathedral to write new music for every Sunday service. That's why we have so much of his music today. And most of it has even been lost. Wrap your head around that one.
Anyway, that kind of showing off is equivalent to "Keeping up with the Joneses," you have to prove, albeit in a superficial way, that you're as good as another person because you can put together a more elaborate ceremony. However, this is stupid if you're of modest means because there are better things to spend your money on- bills, for example. But, this world is a superficial place (always has been, always will be) and making a spectacle out of what is ostensibly a meaningful ceremony isn't a surprise.
There's an episode of the Cosby Show in which Theo is competing with a completely off-camera character over who is going to have the best Prom stuff. Not necessarily even the best, but the most expensive and flashy. Theo gets a limousine, the other guy gets a bigger one, Theo gets something better, the other guy one-ups him. I won't ruin the episode for you, but Theo ends up ruining his evening, and his date gets mad-- all of this because he focused on the trappings instead of what was supposed to be a fun night.
Ultimately, any holiday is artificial. It's just an observance of something that is deemed important enough to take time to celebrate, remember, or whatever. Thanksgiving is about taking time to reflect. Eating a lot and being part of a group murder are things you might choose to do, but they're extra. And nobody can really force you to reflect on anything, the time is just given for you to do whatever with. We went to visit my Uncle (my Dad's brother) this year. There was a set schedule. Everyone should arrive at certain times, and we were going to eat at a certain, set time. However, there were complications, my sister had a little bit of trouble with an intersection, a hard-to-see-over hill, a stop sign, and a car speeding past her. She, and those riding with her, were delayed. Then the turken (a chicken inside a chicken. I always just thought these were a joke and a statement about excesses, but I ate some of one. What of it?) took longer than anticipated to cook. But none of that really mattered. It didn't ruin anything. The point was that we wanted to get together and enjoy each other's company. We did that, and everything else was just extra.
It's very easy to lose track of the point of what we're celebrating in the act of celebrating. Holidays aren't necessarily even about a date. At one point, my Mom was looking at a job that would require her to work on Christmases. We just figured that we could do the gift opening and big breakfast (our Christmas breakfast is a big part of our tradition) on another day. It wasn't really a big deal. The time of it isn't a problem, just that that time is set aside by employers and retailers for the purpose, so it's easier to do it then, but not required by any means. Somehow, some time, the wrapping has gotten more important than the gifts, the how has gotten more important than the why, if the why is even remembered at all. I strongly encourage you to think about why you do what you do this time of year and not let things get in the way.

Hipster Thursday

2011-12-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

This answers some questions that we were discussing the other night.

Haiku Monday: Break Plans

2011-12-19T00:00:00.000-06:00

Goblin spelled backwards
One of the worst films ever
Watch Troll 2 with Chase

Truman Library?
I'm always up for going
You're welcome to come

Chilling with Eric
We don't usually make plans
Just do whatever

Everyone has dogs
My siblings and my parents
The house smells like it

See what's going on
Say hi to people I like
Avoid the others

Jacob and Laurie
Hang out and see their new place
Find out what's hap'nin

Friends in Warrensburg
Do I still know anyone
They've mostly all gone

Meeting friends for lunch
Hmm... Need to fake my way through
I have no money

I've slept here before
Same room, but different vibe
Can't go home again

Blues Brothers Thursday

2011-12-15T06:23:00.000-06:00

We had this album, and I remember listening to it as a kid.

Religion and Church

2011-12-13T13:30:00.000-06:00

Let's say you have a group of like-minded people looking to form a spiritual community. You need some place to meet, right? So you find a building, nothing too expensive, but one that meets the need.
At that point, religion and the church diverge. As soon as you get that building, you have to keep it up. You have to make sure that the heater works, there are places for people to sit, that the grass out front gets mown regularly, that you have tables and chairs and stuff.
While a church might seem to be connected to religion, it's only related on a superficial level. Religion is beyond this world. As soon as you have things in this world, your religion gets bogged down in the logistics of property maintenance. This can very easily distract from the point of what was the original point.
I don't know if you've ever heard of the internet community Reddit, but it's dominated by a lot of loud atheists. As annoying as it is, I find it funny the way they loudly criticize religion, specifically, Christians. They tell stories about their frustrations with Christians, and how much they hate them, all of them. It's funny to me because they've become exactly what it is they hate. They talk about how narrow-minded Christians are and how they want to impose their own world view on everyone else.
Most of the world is filled with idiots. They come in all shapes, colors, and religious views. There are also intelligent people who fit into almost every category. Saying that everyone who is a Christian is stupid is like saying everyone who is Muslim is a terrorist. Sure, it would be nice if we could reduce the world to simple terms, and if you could judge the content of a person's character by the color of his or her skin. Unfortunately, there is no way to know.
Anyway, there are idiots everywhere, and some of them are Christians. What the people on reddit hate aren't Christians, they're idiots. Most of the stories they tell are about Evangelicals being intolerant, rude, and short-sighted. Sure, there are those people who fit into the Evangelical category, but they fit into the idiot category as well. The people you don't like aren't Evangelicals, they're idiots.
From where I stand, the problem with fundamentalist religion is its refusal to acknowledge the existence of figurative language. The bible is very poorly written as an instruction manual for how to live life. It is, however, rich with parables that illustrate a point. In the New Testament, these parables are clearly labeled. In the Old Testament, they aren't always. For example, the story of Adam and Eve. Remember the snake who was the troublemaker, encouraging Adam and Eve to make bad decisions and ruin everything? Well, the Sumerian religion that was dominant in that part of the world at that time believed that a snake that was their main god created the world. See how that works? They took somebody else's good guy and made it their bad guy. A lot of the story isn't important, some of it's even actively stupid, until we realize that it's not necessarily literally true, it's just someone's way of making a point.
This world of ours isn't full of flat characters, we all exist in multiple facets every day. One person can be a lot of different things (for example, a bitch, a lover, a child, a mother, a sinner, a saint). If one of those things is an idiot, it affects all of the others. It's even possible for an intelligent person to be an idiot from time to time, and for an idiot to do something intelligent. While we're not all idiots all the time, we have each other covered, right now, chances are, most of the world is doing something stupid. In the next second, the specific people who are doing or saying something stupid might change, but, statistically, the majority of people are still idiots. It's rotating, and we're all idiots sometimes.
We are separable from our own idiocy, and so are the things we do (usually). In the same way, religion is separable from the church. Ideally, the church should be a vehicle for religion. However, churches often exist to perpetuate themselves, sometimes regardless of really making a difference. There is an occasional advantage, though. If you've ever been in one of those big old cathedrals, the connotation of a place like that can be a feeling of being part of something bigger. I remember the story of one Jewish writer (whose name I forget, but he was talking on Fresh Air a month or two ago) who felt that way in his neighborhood's Catholic cathedral. Honestly, I can't find fault in making that feeling in anyone. That feeling of relief, or being part of something bigger, it's significant and puts things in perspective. If a church can do that sometimes, it's just a question of weighing that against the cost of that church.
The thing I keep coming back to is that we exist in compartments. While I might not recognize all of your compartments, you might not recognize all of mine. You might see me doing something as an idiot, but confuse it with me doing something as a religious person. For that matter, I might confuse the two because I'm an idiot.
I am a pair of arms, but that's not all I am. I am a pair of legs, but that's not all I am. What I do as a pair of arms doesn't necessarily reflect my legs, but you might be able to separate the two. We don't exist on one level at a time, but that seems to be the way we perceive each other.

Haiku Monday: Holes

2011-12-12T09:22:00.000-06:00

Four thousand of them
And they had to count them all
Blackburn, Lankashire

The holes in the wall
Especially waist-high ones
Don't put... things... through them

Can't dig half of one
At least, that's what the joke said
Fooled many a kid

A practical joke
Poke a hole up by the rim
Ha ha, dribble cup

Don't want them in tires
Blowout or just a slow leak
Try to get it patched

Try to keep things in
Those darn holes just let them out
Defeat the purpose

Lizard in a jar
And poke some holes in the top
For ventilation

Ditty Bops Thursday

2011-12-08T08:26:00.001-06:00

This one is going out to Newt. Keep it real, buddy.

Haiku Monday: Paint

2011-12-05T14:01:00.001-06:00

It covers things up
Or enhances different things
It's versatile stuff

Dip brush in the can
Apply the brush to surface
Repeat 'til covered

Shake the can a lot
Click-a click-a click-a click
Aim, push the top, spray

Add some metal flake
Gives some depth and makes it shine
Sure does look purdy

Makeup on your face
More acceptable for broads
Hide imperfections

A layer is a coat
I'm not really sure why, though
Better not to ask

Spray or brush it on
Practical or artistic
You missed a spot, there

We've All Made Some Bad Decisions

2011-12-03T22:18:00.001-06:00

I'm really starting to regret getting that "9-9-9" tattoo.

Al Green isn't Afraid to Rhyme A-A-A-A

2011-11-30T22:26:00.001-06:00

I ran across this song a couple weeks ago, and I want to be clear that I don't hate it. In fact, I'm fascinated that it works as decent music in spite of the weak, weak lyrics. Generally, words this derivative and, frankly, lazy, would get cut and probably not even make it into a studio recording session. However, Al Green's voice is so good that the words are ancillary.
On the album cover, it appears that Mr. Green has not only taken Eddie Murphy's Buckwheat wig, but has killed and skinned a muppet in order to make the edges of his jacket snazzier. And, personally, it would probably make me uncomfortable if someone used that particular posture to "get next to me."

To get a better idea of the words, I've color-coded the rhymes. My own comments are written in a different font, a different size.

I'm so tired of being alone,
I'm so tired-up on my own,
won't you help me, girl,
just as soon as you can (At your convenience, really.)

People say
that I've found a way,
to make you say,
that you love me. (Not to make you actually love me, just to get you to say it)
But baby,
you didn't go for that, (Go for that? I thought it was just something people were saying)
me, it's a natural fact,
that I wanna come back,
show me where it's at, baby.

I'm so tired of being alone,
I'm so tired-up on my own,
won't you help me, girl,
just as soon as you can (I'm saying it twice, which indicates some level of passive aggression in that I'm telling you not to hurry, but I keep pestering you)

I guess you know that I, uh,
love you so,
even though,
you don't want me no more,
hey, hey, hey, I'm cryin' tears,
all through the years,
I tell you like it is,*
honey, love me if you [?] (I can't tell what he's saying here. Maybe "will" maybe "can." Probably not something that rhymes)

This section is more spoken word than songish, and therefore doesn't really need to rhyme. I would, however, like to call your attention to the excessive use of the word, "Baby."
Yeah baby,
tired of being alone here by myself,
I tell ya, I'm tired baby,
I'm tired of being all wrapped up late at night,
in my dreams, nobody but you, baby.
Sometimes I wonder,
if you love me like you say you do, (Wait, where did she come from? I thought you were by yourself)
You see baby, I've been thinking about you, (The way he says this reminds me of Jimmy from South Park)
I've been wanting to get next to you, baby,
Sometimes I hold my arms and I say,
Mmmmm hmmmm hmmmm,
O baby, needing you has proven to me,
to be my greatest dream. (What? What does that even mean? That has nothing to do with the rest of the song)

I'm so tired of being alone,
I'm so tired-up on my own,
...Sometimes late at night I get to wonderin' about you baby,
Baby, baby, ya...

*This rhyme needs to be qualified, while it doesn't seem like it should rhyme, he somehow says the long E sound in a way that makes it sound pretty similar. That, coupled with his softening of the Rs in the previous words makes me call it a rhyme. This tie goes to the runner.

Up, Down, Up

2011-11-30T20:30:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty good about my horn playing. After months of working, I was fairly convinced that my high range is getting better, and it's likely to stay that way. My accuracy had improved, and, if I keep it up, that's likely to stay that way too.
Today was going pretty well until they passed out parts in orchestra. We're playing a big concert in February next semester, and we're doing some really great pieces. One of those pieces is the tone poem "Don Juan" by Richard Strauss.

Of the five horn players in our orchestra's section, I was the only one who didn't receive a part. I was bummed. Nothing had qualitatively changed between the two days, but suddenly, I felt terrible. Qualitatively, there was no difference, but all of a sudden, the story that I assigned to everything had changed.
Just a couple of hours later, my position would change again. I got an e-mail from one of the orchestral studies graduate assistants, saying that I will be playing on the piece, but that he forgot to make the copy. He sent me the part via e-mail. I instantly felt relieved. It bothers me that my opinions of my playing are so dependent on outside things. Ideally, I'd like to be able to have an unwavering concept of myself, but I don't currently. Maybe that'll come with time.

Why Social Security Should Go

2011-11-29T10:21:00.001-06:00

I think we should get rid of it.
But not for the reason(s) you might think.
At the moment, Social Security is the keystone of successful social programs to help those who need the most help. Time after time, conservatives have threatened to get rid of it, or to make drastic cuts, for one reason or another.
It's a political liability.
However, people really like Social Security. It's a program that keeps your elderly relatives independent and less likely to move in with you. Everyone's happy because they don't really want to move in with you either.
Because it's such a popular program, I doubt that conservatives really want to get rid of it. If you look at who's saying things, it's the crazies, the lunatic fringe. Reasonable, everyday people want to keep Social Security.
If people want to keep it, why is it always on the short list of programs to get cut?
In a word, leverage. Basically, the savvy lunatics throw one of the big things out the window to start off so that their position is strengthened. To compromise, the other side has to cut smaller programs to make up for it. Unfortunately, that was the game plan of the lunatics in the first place. They didn't really want to get rid of Social Security because their spouses' parents are getting up there and they don't want that headache because they like having the extra room upstairs to keep their NASCAR collectibles in.
How do we end this stupid game?
Well, you can start by not voting for crazy people. There are a ton of reasonable answers, but I'm going with the nuclear option:
Get rid of Social Security in a way that implicates the crazies. Give them exactly what they want on that front. They've done nothing but set up everyone else to fail, so let's let them succeed in a way that exposes their shallow political strategy. If their demands are met and Social Security is murdered, they're left holding the knife. Because people like Social Security, they'll vote out the lunatics, and we'll be left with a more moderate congress.
Is this a crazy solution?
Yup.
But- I'm safe saying whatever what I want because:

Nobody reads this blog anyway
It's not really what I think we should do, it's just a thing I thought of

Haiku Monday: Thanksgiving Reflections

2011-11-28T06:30:00.000-06:00

Chicken in Turkey
We had one, without the duck
I'm not proud of it

Fifteen hundred miles
Over twenty four hours
Driving or riding

Ugh. Oklahoma
It's so boring to drive through
Long and tedious

Saw some relatives
With no major incidents
We all got along

Rice stuffing with shrimp
My aunt made it, it was great
Took some for the road

Mmm. Cranberry sauce
A small thing, but I love it
I would like some more

Took some leftovers
A big Gladware® container
It wasn't enough

More mashed potatoes
Never as good microwaved
Got to have them fresh

Oh, Pat Thursday

2011-11-24T07:29:00.001-06:00

I guess being able to lift almost a thousand pounds with your legs might be the result of not eating macaroni and cheese.

Haiku Monday: Last Minute

2011-11-21T22:20:00.001-06:00

Internet was down
I was gonna write haikus
But couldn't post them.

Stormed this afternoon
November Rain, like the song
Except not that much

Have to write a thing
But it's not due for two weeks
Start the night before

Couldn't write haikus
Chase was distressed; here they are
Now stop complaining

Eric was gracious
Didn't put pressure on me
You can't rush these things

Ahead of the game
I thought I could take my time
Should have done it then

Do at least seven
Arbitrary minimum
I'm going to bed

Students I Have Been: The Excuse-Maker

2011-11-19T22:42:00.001-06:00

I'm not a very good student, which is why I'm still in school, and why I'll be in school for a lot longer. I keep running into the same problems that I thought I'd passed, but it often turns out I haven't. I'm going to start this series because I'm also teaching, and I think saying it out loud will help me recognize things.
I'm an excuse-maker. When something goes wrong, I've trained my brain to get to work figuring out some reason that whatever went wrong wasn't really my fault. In the past, I've come up with some pretty good ones. However, it's best just to take the blame right off the bat. Not only because it's less mental energy dwelling in the past, but because when excuses are made, it just makes the whole deeper.
There is a story, "Alibi Ike" about a baseball player who always makes excuses, even when he does things right, he has an excuse for why he didn't do them better. When I recognized myself in that character, I started trying not to make excuses any more. I first came across that story the Summer between eighth and ninth grade. My first impulse is still to make excuses; it's a hard habit to break.
Right now, I'm teaching twenty horn students, I'm very fortunate to be able to do that, and I don't want to sound ungrateful.
Anyway, a couple of my students have developed the excuse-making habit. Whenever there's a problem they have themselves covered. It's a problem both for them and for me. If I don't know the real reason for a problem, I don't know what to suggest they work on. If they don't admit to themselves that there's a problem, they create another one. In addition to the playing problem, they're deluding themselves. Two problems for the price of one. Not only that, but I'm a little insulted about some of the excuses they make. Missing a third-space C, one of my students made an excuse that that was a bad note for her. Despite the fact that, moments earlier, she played multiple Cs with no problems.
How do I get them to stop making excuses? Well, I can't. It's something they have to recognize for themselves. Two of the students who make excuses come from the same school. That concerns me because I'm afraid it might be the band director.
As for myself, I played really poorly on Friday in the orchestra rehearsal. This is bad for a few reasons. First of all, the orchestra heard me mess things up and all know how bad a horn player I am. Secondly, it was recorded, and the orchestra director will see those recordings and know how bad a horn player I am. That will probably affect assignments for future concerts. It's not good. On the bright side, I managed to avoid making excuses. I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything. I made mistakes. There were no special circumstances that would make my mistakes okay. I'm learning, slowly but surely, I guess.

He Killed Two Men Thursday

2011-11-17T08:39:00.001-06:00

Leadbelly was in prison in Texas for killing a man and got a pardon as the result of impressing the Governor with his singing and playing. Later, he was in prison in Louisiana for the same reason and got a pardon for the same reason.

Stop It. Just Stop It.

2011-11-17T07:28:00.001-06:00

A couple days ago, Politico reported that Sarah Palin weighed in on the Sandusky case. She said,
"Hang him from the highest tree, I'll bring the rope"
Sandusky should be really careful. I think we all remember the last person who she incited violence against back in January.
Using violence to provide color to what you're saying is a rhetorical tool. Violence is always shocking and disgusting. It's irresponsible, not to mention indicative of a juvenile worldview, to use some kind of violence will solve problems. The good guys are, more often than not, the people who don't fight. Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa. I don't think that many people would disagree that those are good people, and I don't think anyone at all would disagree that they were all nonviolent.
At best, the use of violence is a case of "doing evil to do good." Basically, the idea is that it's not right, but you do it for a good reason because you're prepared to do something wrong to right a greater wrong. It's a last resort, and, at the end of the day, you're still doing something wrong. As is often the case, people lose perspective. Mark Twain said, "To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail." Well, at some point, I think we as a people solved a problem (say, World War II) by fighting fire with fire, and forgot that that's not the solution to everything. The juvenile world view I mentioned before is the simplification of everything to the same kind of problem; one that can be solved by force. In closing, let me throw one more piece of folk wisdom at you: You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Haiku Monday: Fake

2011-11-14T21:44:00.001-06:00

It's made to look good
Can't tell it from the real thing
Good facsimile

Is this thing real gold?
It's a soft metal, bite it
Your teeth are harder

Only twenty bucks?
Wow! What an amazing deal!
Wait-- it's a "Folex"

It's not the real thing
All man-made materials
That's what the tag says

It's close but not quite
Just a cheap imitation
Just like taco bell

Not even a rock
The cubic zarconia
But who cares, it's cheap

I'm calling you out
That's nowhere near genuine
Frankly, bologna

It's sweet and gooey
Mmm... high fructose corn syrup
It's in everything

Poor, Fat, and Stupid

2011-11-11T17:58:00.001-06:00

No, this isn't an autobiographical post, so shut up.
If you're even peripherally aware of pundits recently, you've probably heard about all the great things poor people can afford. I'm amazed that the people in the magical talking box have completely missed the point. They've completely confused the cause and the effect of the situation.
Poor people don't buy frivolous things because they aren't poor, they're poor because they buy them first. As a hypothetical, let's say you give a kid some money. What do they do with the money? Probably not invest it in low risk mutual funds. Most likely, they purchase toys or candy, or something fun. With kids, it's not a big deal because kids have all of their needs met by parents/guardians.
Adults, on the other hand, have to spend money on boring stuff like rent, groceries, car payments, insurance, prostitutes, etc.
The problem isn't that the poor aren't poor. They are. The problem is that they're poor because they don't know how to manage the little money they do have. A portion of the poor have the means to get out of poverty, but don't know how to manage it. Why not? Possibly bad education.
Buying a big screen television and not being able to afford decent food doesn't mean you're not poor, it means that you've spent your money foolishly. There's a couple of blocks away from my apartment that advertises a 52-inch flat screen television for $400. When you think about it, that's almost two months' worth of groceries. Not cheap groceries either, but eating pretty decently.
Maybe the people at the bottom buy things that are too expensive so they feel human. Maybe they do it because they see these things as a mark of success, and think if they have them, maybe they'll be successful. I can't really say; I can't speak for anyone but myself. I'd suggest that you ask a poor person about it, but they're often smelly, and some of them are minorities.
There will always be a bottom 20% of incomes. That's how percentages work. Due to inflation as well as other factors, people are making more money than they were even twenty years ago. I know I'm making more money than I was then... when I was four.
Anyway, one percentage that is changing is the percentage of Americans who are overweight or obese. It's an interesting cultural shift, for centuries, being overweight was a status symbol, meaning that not only did you have enough to survive, but you had a little extra. Then, some time in the last hundred and twenty five years or so, overweight-ness came to be seen as a character flaw. Your weight indicates a moral deficiency, so I judge you based on your weight.
Again, this is backwards thinking. I, personally, am fat because I regularly eat too much and I hate doing things I'm not good at, which includes a lot of physical things. I've never felt good about how much I weighed, but other things have come higher on my priority list. Narcissistic blogging, for example.
I would venture to say that most people are overweight because we don't know how to budget our intake. I eat a lot of junk food that tastes good. Rather than not be sad when I look in a mirror, I choose to do things that make my taste buds feel good. Most of the time, I'm not okay with that decision, but when I'm hungry, I don't think that way. Now that I think about it, my eating habits are generally unhealthy: I don't eat lunch most of the time, so my other two meals are bigger.
Another thing that contributes to the number of overweight people is the kind of food that's available. In all the health classes I've ever taken, they talk about drugs. After using several different approaches, they say that we shouldn't do drugs because we don't know what's in the products. Dealers often water down their supply with various things so that they can have more than they started with.
Food producers do the same thing. High fructose corn syrup is nothing but filler. The body can't really process it well. You probably saw those ads where the corn producers said that corn syrup is no different than beet sugar. That's true, but they're missing the point. The problem isn't the sugar, it's the amount of it and its presence in everything. Because the food producers are cutting their supply with corn syrup, which is relatively cheap, they're able to increase profits, which is all they're out to do, not provide a service, not to help people, just to make money.
So, that's two things that people look at backwards. People aren't not poor because they buy nice things, they're poor because their spending habits are out of whack. People aren't fat because they're bad people, they're fat because their intake habits are out of whack.
The title would suggest that I'm now going to defend stupid people in the same way.
I'm not.
I hate people who are aggressively ignorant. The kind of person who will gladly tell everyone that he or she doesn't understand something, so that thing isn't worth understanding. It's more an indication of a lack of intellectual curiosity than of the non-importance of whatever fact they have disdain for. Nobody has the market cornered on this aggressive ignorance. Atheists, Christians, Muslims, Asians, all have their individuals who fit the bill, but somehow, rednecks end up with it the most. Probably because that's the personality they've been sold. Blue collar folks are simply people who work physically demanding jobs. A lot of them have class. My grandparents, for example, on both sides, worked blue collar jobs. And on both sides they're not rednecks, they're people with a sense of dignity, they're good people who don't try to force their worldview on anybody else. The only exception is the angry chain e-mails I occasionally get forwarded to me. Again, this comes down to the fact that my grandparents don't have a context for dealing with that kind of thing, and, being retired, they're looking for things to do all day, so reading all of their e-mails works.
Anyway, people who are simply poorly educated I don't have a problem with, they'll learn eventually. People who are determined not to learn anything new make me angry. They're scum.
Anyway, that's what I think about some stuff. I would've given a clearer, more nuanced view, but you can see how long this post is already.

What I Say, What I Mean

2011-11-08T22:12:00.000-06:00

About a year ago, I did a presentation for a music history class. The topic of the presentation is beside the point, so I won't bother you with it. At one point, I said something about the "macho bullshit" that the characters were displaying. There were some giggles, and the professor suggested that I use the word "machismo" instead.
I was a little insulted by that.
Had I meant machismo, I would've said that. Sure the words have the same definition on paper, but the connotation of the first one is so much more. When I say machismo, I'm describing it in a sterile way that just tells you the facts. Using words that aren't generally used in polite company, I'm describing a subject matter that isn't generally used in polite company. The words "macho bullshit" pull double duty. Not only do you have the dictionary definition in there, but the response to the words, or specifically to the second word, elicits a visceral response; captures the grit and inherent shock value of the word. It's the difference between saying words that fit your meaning, and really expressing yourself.
Recently, I've noticed a lot of jokes that rely on the word "vagina" to make them funny. Please notice that I don't say that these jokes are a new thing, just that I've noticed it lately.
Basically, I think that it's often indicative of lazy writing. The humor of the joke isn't rhetorical, it's based, depending on the context, on the taboo subject of sexual organs, and/or the fact that "vagina" is a funny word.
The first is really only appealing to a certain sensibility, a certain seventh grade worldview. The point past which you involuntarily giggle when you hear the word, but still in the middle of not really being able to deal with the reality.
Part of the irony of vagina being a funny word is that the penis is a much funnier organ, both in terms of its physical appearance, and in the way it functions.
There are a number of people who've recently written about the misogynistic message that a punchline containing vagina is, but I think that the comedian Erin Gibson has the best take on it. She prefers to face it head on, confronting the taboo by examining how women's issues are portrayed on television, in film, etc. To this end, on her now-defunct "Modern Lady" segment on the tragically cancelled show "infoMania," she preferred to say "Lady Parts."
This is another case of the connotation communicating more than clinical words can. "Vagina" recalls more of a health class or doctor's office kind of environment. Either inspires the giggling of middle school health, or the seriousness and impersonality of a medical situation. Saying Lady Parts grabs onto both the idea of a Lady, a delicate and classy woman who shouldn't be expected to be sullied by having genitalia. And "parts" demonstrates the vagueness, even avoidance that surround the topic.
Both Jack Kerouac and Bob Dylan use connotation brilliantly, not only in the words themselves, but in the sounds of the words. Sometimes, reading Kerouac or listening to Dylan, you find a series of words that seems meaningless, but when you look at them in context, they begin to make sense as a larger unit.
Language isn't perfect. It's a byproduct of our attempts to express common meaning. We all live in our own heads, and hopefully language will allow us to share what's in there with other people whose experiences are only completely understood in their own heads. At best, we can only hope for people to partially understand what we mean. We give ourselves a little more slack when we start to include some connotation into what we're trying to say, we engage on two fronts instead of one. Not only on the purely logical plane, in which the brain makes sense of nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, gerunds, infinitives, etc., but we also tap into a deeper level of being human when we explore connotation and the reactions and feelings we have, and our audience has, to different things.

Haiku Monday: Chairs

2011-11-07T01:00:00.000-06:00

Some of them have arms
Some with four legs, some fewer
They do the same job

In my comfy one
Trying to write some haikus
And not fall asleep

I have an old one
My dad's when he was a kid
They made it to last

By definition
It's furniture you sit on
... And that's about it

Let's talk Ottomans
The footrest, not the Empire
Just to keep things clear

Sit in rolly chair
Looks like I have ADD
Can't help but swivel

I'd love one of these
They look like they'd be so cool
Until you get up

Royalty on thrones
Old men in their recliners
Spinsters sit rocking

I learned the hard way
Be careful when you lean back
You could bang your head

The Tragedy of James Randi

2011-11-05T15:57:00.002-05:00

I'd like to share a little story with you, partly a cautionary tale, partly a Quixotic quest, partly a wake-up call, and partly a cringe-inducing series of events. The man in the middle of this story is James Randi. You're more than welcome to read up on him on your own, but I've compiled this little narrative, and I think you'll learn a little bit, maybe.
He started his career off as a magician, "The Amazing Randi," and was moderately successful. I think it's safe to say that that line of work helped him to develop an engaging stage persona and to structure what he has to say in an interesting way that will keep audiences' attention.
Driven by what he saw as frauds taking advantage of people, he started on what would be a giant undertaking. Using his experience as a magician, coupled with his individual skepticism, he decided that he would show the masses what charlatans were doing to dupe them and take their money.
In these videos, he is a crusader fighting against the cheaters and liars who want to steal easily impressed people with their money.

He is absolutely at his best when he's up against this kind of flashy frauds. The kind who have a certain swagger to them. The white trash martial artist in his black and white pajamas, the obnoxious preacher, and the big haired psychic of limited abilities. These are characters we want to see lose; they're antagonists.
Over the years, Mr. Randi started working more and more. At one point, he had his own television program in the UK, in which he would take on different kinds of paranormal activities. Here's an example:

In that clip he comes off like a bully. When the weirdo is a swaggering attention whore, we want them to lose; they're easy to hate. But when it's an old man like this, we lose our bloodlust. Randi ends up losing the fight because he has his opponent outgunned. This doddering old man wins our sympathy because he's kind of pathetic.
The value of gold is tied to its rarity, and ultimately, that's the heart of the tragedy of James Randi. If the government were to sell all of the gold in Fort Knox, there would be so much of it in the marketplace, that it would all become worthless. With Randi, the more we see him doing what he's good at, the less effective each individual time is. When he could triumphantly arrive when there was trouble, Randi could do a lot of good. When he was stationary, at the same place on television, waiting for frauds to come to him, having to crank out a regular show, he wasn't able to be effective because it was impossible to differentiate between a takedown of a con-artist, and the tearing apart of a pathetic septuagenarian.
His background is as an entertainer, and, often times, he comes across as a genial personality. However, that has its limitations. Not long ago, Randi gave a TED talk that was supposed to talk about irrational beliefs. Instead of being the engaging, entertaining, pointed James Randi, he became more of a semi-coherent Captain Ahab, shouting about individuals and bringing up situations without introducing the context. With just a few clicks on youtube, you can find what James Randi is capable of, but this talk doesn't show any of that.

Now I have the task of summing up all of the evidence I've put in front of you. I have to draw a conclusion from all of this. There are lots of directions I could go in, but I think the most important thing to learn from all of this is a lesson about choosing your battles. When Randi was an occasional presence, his effectiveness was at its peak. The more he was seen, the less interesting he was- familiarity breeds contempt. Certainly, he has done some great work, but he could have done greater work by doing less of it.

Who's Reading My Blog?

2011-11-03T09:52:00.001-05:00

I really like Blogger's new interface. It provides me with a lot of information about where my page hits are coming from. It's limited, though, because it doesn't get very specific, and nobody (except Eric) leaves comments to tell me what they think of posts, which suggests to me that I should do more posts like that in the future.
However, I think I'm receiving a secret message from one very famous, very wealthy reader in Gotham City.

Haiku Monday: End of October

2011-10-31T04:37:00.000-05:00

I hate Halloween
More than other holidays
Well, at least for now

68 degrees
Can't deal with weather down here
People wearing coats

Leaves turning colors
Gently gliding to the ground
Oh, wait, no they're not

Religious backlash
Should it be called "Jesusween?"
Sounds like a dick joke

Kids dressing like stuff
Knocking on their neighbor's doors
Eat some razor blades

What is she dressed as?
Um... Some kind of prostitute?
Oh. Sexy Big Bird.

Hope it's over soon
Then it's on to Christmas stuff
Forget Thanksgiving

I Need a New Formula

2011-10-30T14:28:00.000-05:00

I realized a little while back that I tend to write posts in which I compare two things that seem unlikely to be compared. Recently, I've fallen into a rut with that, so I'm going to try to write different kinds of posts. I'm not sure how yet, but I'm thinking about it.
One of my options is turning this into a journal. I don't think I'm likely to do that because some of the editorializing that I would do about my friends might cost me some of those friends. For example, I had an old friend recently get married, and it's my opinion that that friend settled rather than finding the exact right person. Why am I saying that? Because I think that friend reading this blog is highly unlikely. So I have a place where I write what's on my mind, but not being able to really write about what's on my mind- the irony isn't lost on me.
I've gotten fairly political lately, and I'm not sure what I think about that. On the one hand, I'm mostly writing those to explore my own thoughts, not so much to convince anyone else that what I think is right- I'm figuring out what I think as I write those posts.
What really made the comparison rut obvious was an academic paper that I wrote a couple of weeks ago. I followed my typical blog post formula. While the professor hadn't ever read my blog, I was fairly safe, but I felt like I've gotten kind of intellectually lazy. Maybe I'll change my mind and just go back to what I was doing before. I don't know yet.

Haiku Monday: Laundry

2011-10-24T23:30:00.000-05:00

Makes your whites whiter
And keeps your colors vibrant
$19.95

Need to do laundry
More clothes are dirty than clean
Don't pass the sniff test

Separate them out
Whites can't mix with the colors
Jim Crow detergent

"Out, damn spot!" She yelled
No matter how hard she scrubbed
Needed Spray N Wash

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE
TO TELL YOU TO BUY A THING
OXYGEN POWER

It's starting to smell
Can you wash a comforter?
Please leave a comment

Rarely wear this shirt
All the others are dirty
Today is the day

Welcome

2011-10-23T22:06:00.001-05:00

For the past month or two, I've been able to see some statistics about my blog. One of those statistics is what country people are reading my blog in. I can't tell city or anything more specific, just what country. I noticed today that I have a reader in Italy. Now, I've had readers from Russia, the Phillipines, and India, but I mostly dismissed those as people trying to steal my identity. There is the odd hit from Germany or other places, but most seem to be from the US, no doubt people who got here accidentally. Somehow Italy seems like a magical place, at least partly because I'm currently studying a lot about Italy in my music history class right now.
Anyway, welcome to my new reader in Italy.

Also, I'm really surprised the two posts of mine that are consistently getting the most attention:
One in which I'm trying to sell my 12-string guitar (which I sold a long time ago to buy a second six-string, which I also have sold), and my Religion: Literal and Figurative post. Both are older, but are bringing in several hits a day, which is a significant portion of the hits this seldom read blog gets. From the two people I've talked to about their reading habits of this, they mostly just check in for the Haiku Mondays, and don't really read much else. It seems odd to me that nobody else seems to enjoy the haikus as much.
Oh well. I'm just glad to see the line on the readership graph go up at all.

Haiku Monday: Plastic

2011-10-17T23:48:00.000-05:00

It's made out of oil
Which means that we will run out
But not for a while

Please recycle it
It makes sense and saves the Earth
Not that much more work

It lasts forever
Bacteria can't eat it
At least, not so far

It's less useful now?
Melt it down and start over
Again and again

Lots of different kinds
You can tell by the number
In the triangle

Gets brittle with age
Still talking about plastic
Not about old folks

Watch that BPA
More estrogen or something
I don't really care

Ironic and Sad at the Same Time

2011-10-17T17:46:00.001-05:00

A couple months ago, when I still had cable television, The History Channel went from seeing aliens everywhere and selling garbage, back to its meat and potatoes: World War II.
When I first became aware of it, the History Channel didn't go a day without something related to World War II, they especially loved the nazis. They are an interesting phenomenon, a nation brainwashed and made fanatical. I don't think that most of them were necessarily bad people, they were a combination of brainwashed by propaganda and held captive by being worried about other people ratting them out to score points.
To me, the fascinating thing about that time in German history is the anti-Semitism. I mean, the logic of blaming an entire race of people for the problems of the world just doesn't compute. One big thing that kept coming up over and over was the crucifixion of Jesus. It's really interesting because the people of Jerusalem didn't really do it, the Romans did.
The more interesting parallel, to me anyway, is the crowd mentality. Two weeks before the crucifixion, on Palm Sunday, Jerusalem was jubilant that Jesus was there. So happy, in fact, that they put palm leaves under the feet of the donkey he was riding on. Crowd mentality. People on their own don't get that frenzied about things, even good things.
Then, before the crucifixion, Pilate gave the crowd another chance to free Jesus. After all, it was Passover, and the tradition dictated that one prisoner be released. The crowd, stirred up by the Pharisees, decided that they wanted another guy. Crowd mentality. Individual people don't often call for another person to die (unless you're at a tea party debate), but crowds can be manipulated to do exactly that.

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind-legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. ~Max Beerbohm

The same way that the Pharisees whipped the crowd into a murderous frenzy at the crucifixion, the Nazis whipped Germany into one. The anti-Semitism that existed at that time was history repeating itself. The crucifixion isn't a story about what terrible people Jews are, it's a story about the dangers of crowds. The same way that the third reich is a sad story about what happens when crowds get out of control.
Certainly, crowds can be major engines of social change. I can't really say what separates a bad crowd from a good crowd, if there is such a thing. Even though I've already included one quote in this post, I'm going to throw in another.

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Maybe crowds can be looked at the same way. Certainly, in terms of quick, radical change, the Won't crowds can easily win- at least, if it's an arm wrestling contest. I suspect that where the Will crowd wins is in the marathon. Women's Suffrage and Civil rights, for two examples, were not quick changes. It took a long, long time for them to get their causes heard and taken seriously. They're still fighting today in some form or another. The tea party and OWS movements, however, are more fleeting, and are definitely Won't crowds. They don't have a clear message, or, more than likely, the attention spans to follow through on the social changes they want to see. Maybe the problem is that, in the long run, cooler heads tend to prevail, while in the short run, snap judgements feel good, like you're getting something done.
Yes, I realize I've used two of the most trite, hackneyed examples of bad and good people. Please do keep in mind, though, that I haven't compared anyone to either Rosa Parks or Hitler. I used the first as an example of how history can be misappropriated. The moral of World War II isn't that America is the greatest country in the history of ever, and we can beat all the bad guys if we put our minds to it. To me at least, it's about the danger of crowds and losing yourself in an angry group. The Civil Rights example, on the other hand, is also misappropriated. It's a struggle that isn't over yet. At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy nut, the people who say it's over and all the battles have been won are the people who have something to gain by people stopping the struggle for real equality.
Anyway, that's my take on things. I didn't really back it up with facts, but I could go back and do that if you really want me to. But this blog isn't called, "Well Researched and Insightful Observations from an Impartial Journalist." Take what you can get.

Haiku Monday: Stars

2011-10-10T12:48:00.001-05:00

Not the famous kind
But the giant balls of gas
Million miles away

About eight minutes
Light, from the sun to the earth
And gives you cancer

A supernova
They're big and spectacular
... Theoretically

Look into the sky
A glimpse of infinity
Don't sweat the small stuff

By the time you see
The star has been dead for years
Kind of sad, really

You look up at them
See the vastness of it all
But who's looking back?

[Reference lost on you?
Just take a look at this link
That should explain it]

Wozniak Thursday

2011-10-06T21:25:00.002-05:00

Haiku Monday: Leather

2011-10-03T07:04:00.000-05:00

Toss the old pigskin
Well, at least it used to be
Now it's all man-made

Some folks won't buy it
From moral opposition
Others are just poor

Sitting on this couch
I can't seem to shake the thought
It was once a cow

Hard to get stains out
That's just the way that skin works
It's like a tattoo

To get the leather
You have to skin the varmint
There's more than one way

A leather jacket
Animal cruelty? Gross
But it looks so cool

It has its drawbacks
A leather coat in the rain
Soaks up the water

Alligator hide
They're not cute- who will miss them?
All bumpy and stuff

Remarkable Similarity: Make Me Squirm

2011-09-27T19:52:00.003-05:00

Haiku Monday: Euphemisms

2011-09-26T21:44:00.003-05:00

Under the weather
Technically, you always are
Unless you're in space

A euphemism
Avoid uncomfortable words
Just use one instead

A bit off color
That just means it's offensive
Well, if you're a prig

Those two have knocked boots
You mean they did the nasty?
A roll in the hay

"At least I'm street smart"
That's just like inner beauty
Completely useless

Easy on the eyes
Won't cause permanent damage
Quite unlike the sun

This room is too small
But some might call it cozy
Say what makes the sale

Formula Thursday

2011-09-22T10:31:00.000-05:00

I Love This

2011-09-20T21:55:00.003-05:00

This is such a great explanation. It puts it so well. Leave it to someone whose job is putting things succinctly.

Haiku Monday: Milestones

2011-09-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

Your baby's first steps
Take pictures or video
And child-proof your home

First one to go there
A sight no one else has seen
Better leave your flag

Faster than light speed
Neutrinos can do that now
Make it so. Engage.

Do stuff, get involved
Or you can commemorate
Watch it through a screen

Slow motion last point
Watch the ball bounce in slow-mo
The suspense kills me

Something happened here?
Just write to the registry
They'll give you a plaque

Clothes Have Always Looked Stupid Thursday

2011-09-15T15:59:00.000-05:00

Haiku Monday: Plants

2011-09-12T09:41:00.000-05:00

Sunlight and water

That's all you need to grow them

And a little time

Take them for granted

That's what we usually do

Until we run out

Conifers are neat

You might call them "evergreens"

If you're not classy

The whirly seed pods

Fall gracefully to the ground

They're so fun to watch

The hardy pothos

Also called devil's ivy

It grows anywhere

Plants thrive anywhere

Sometimes where you don't want them

Then you call them weeds

Adventitious roots

They grow out above the ground

Kind of like branches

Untitled

2011-09-11T15:56:00.002-05:00

"In reading The History of Nations, we find that, like individuals, they have their whims and their peculiarities, their seasons of excitement and recklessness, when they care not what they do. We find that whole communities suddenly fix their minds upon one object and go mad in its pursuit; that millions of people become simultaneously impressed with one delusion, and run after it, till their attention is caught by some new folly more captivating than the first."
— Charles MacKay (Extraordinary Popular Delusions & the Madness of Crowds)

One of These Things is Not Like the Others

2011-09-10T09:19:00.000-05:00

http://youtu.be/p8ZA3IvZnCo

Tri-Mashup Thursday

2011-09-08T10:45:00.000-05:00

Haiku Monday: First Amendment

2011-09-05T23:59:00.000-05:00

No theocracies
That was the idea, right?
Oh well, whatever

Freedom of the press
Nothing about internet
Have at it, fascists

Peaceful assembly
I am not sure what that means
Is that like flash mobs?

My mind is my own
I can do just what I want
Unless it hurts you

Redress of Grievance
Petition the government
Huh? You can do that?

No state religion
Nor prevent free exercise
You mean like aerobics?

You cannot decide
I can worship how I choose
And when, also where

Why do we need these?
They thought these rights were implied
Too bad we're so dumb

Lazy Lyrics

2011-09-04T12:32:00.002-05:00

"I be where the money be" is no better than "on board I'm the captain, so climb aboard."

Hope Springs Eternal, but I Wish it Didn't

2011-09-03T12:27:00.001-05:00

This is a really stupid post.
I mean, I realize that most of them are, but this one is stupid in a different kind of way. Normally, it's just me making a comparison between something I think and something I know very little about.
But this time, it's personal.
What I mean by that, is that this is entirely in my own head.
Currently, I'm working toward a Master's degree in music. I wouldn't give that little piece of information, except that blogger.com recently changed its interface, so I can now see some information about the people who visit this site. It's not much information, so don't worry. I can see how many page views (usually fewer than a dozen a day), what country those page views come from (apparently, someone in Russia occasionally reads... probably by accident), and what browser those page views are using (Chrome, by a huge margin).
Because of the work involved with this degree, I don't have a whole lot of time to make and maintain friendships. That fact, coupled with my lack of inclination to get outside myself means that I spend most of my time alone. Most of the time, that's just fine with me. Sometimes, however, I get to feeling kind of lonely. Quite frankly, I don't have the time or money to go places and do things like a normal human being, so I try to avoid social situations that involve that kind of thing... which is most of them. Not drinking doesn't help, because that tends to be a major point of human interaction.
Anyway, last Fall, I met this girl who really impressed me. She's here for her Master's in music history, which just happens to be what I'm minoring in (technically, the school calls it a "concentration area," but I'm using general terms to be better understood). She played in a professional orchestra from a young age. Intelligent, talented, and enjoyable to be around. You can see the appeal. Plus, she's pretty nice to look at.
We had two classes together our first semester here, and we got to know each other in a kind of way. We lived on the same bus route and would occasionally run into each other. I tried to play it cool and not make it clear that I was really interested in her. Unfortunately, I'm anything but cool.
One of the most embarrassing stories happened on the day that there was a big test in one of the classes we had together. We were on the same bus in, and, thinking she wouldn't want to be bothered with me, I walked on ahead instead of waiting for her so we could walk together. There, I go, on my way, when I hear the ice cubes in the water bottle she always has with her. They're rattling like she's moving fast.
She was moving fast to catch up with me.
As soon as I heard those ice cubes, I started walking slower. She walked up right next to me and started the conversation. It was at that point that I got butterflies in my stomach. Honestly, butterflies. Like I'm Charlie Brown talking to the Little Red-Haired Girl or something. Pathetic.
We talked on our way in, but I couldn't really make good conversation because I was just so excited to be talking to her in a conversation she had initiated. I felt like an idiot, but I got to talk to her.
Anyway, I later e-mailed her to ask for the chapter handout that we had gotten over one chapter because I had "lost mine." In fact, I hadn't, I just couldn't think of a better excuse to talk to her. She sent me the paper. It was then that I made a huge mistake: I offered that if she wanted to hang out some time, I was up for it.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
From then, I basically spent a semester in exile. I'd see here here and there, and she'd ignore me. We said hi to each other when we couldn't avoid it, but that was a very small percentage of the time. So, anyway, I basically gave up at that point and didn't really give her any more thought. It was obvious she wanted nothing to do with me, so I might as well go on my way.
This semester, I go to my first day of classes, including a history class, and there she is. She looks good. We had a pleasant little chat about the weather (isn't that some kind of sign that you don't have anything to talk about?) before we went in to class. Through no intentional action, she is even sitting within about seven or eight feet of me. Not close or anything, but if I wanted to stare creepily at her, I guess I could.
Here's the part where the title of the post starts to make sense. As they often do, the professor who teaches this class made some joke. When she laughed, she looked over at me. When I saw her looking over at me and smiling that great smile of hers, I felt thrilled.
I don't know why.
Here is this situation... not even a situation... the possibility of a situation, that I had thrown away a long time ago, and suddenly, I'm as excited to have her attention as I was before. Stupid.
At least in some ways. In other ways, feeling the feelings is a fun ride while it lasts.
I realize in my rational brain that nothing is going to happen, and I'm fine with that. I'm more than fine with that, 99% of my brain thinks that that is the better option. It allows me to focus on school and have more time and energy. The emotional part of my brain needs something to do, and I guess that's the root of this. Ultimately, I guess it's interesting how such a difference could be made so quickly by such a little thing as a smile and a laugh that were pointed in my direction. A smile and a laugh that probably didn't mean anything.
In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that, in that Fall semester when we had classes together, this girl was obviously interested in a guy who was also a music history major. He's from New York and never really paid what I thought was enough attention to her. I guess I was envious, but it was kind of funny at the same time. She would go to great lengths to talk to him and to get his attention, but he didn't really seem to notice her too much. Meanwhile, I was going to lengths to talk to her and she didn't notice me at all. Funny in a sad kind of way, I guess.
This concludes this post. We now return you to your regularly scheduled haikus, youtube videos, political points, and comparisons that work in a limited kind of way.

We Have Seen the Future, and They are Us

2011-09-02T13:19:00.000-05:00

I like Star Trek.
Set in the future, the show not only provides compelling characters and neat visuals, but there's a more philosophical aspect to it. By setting the story in space in the future, aliens and future problems can take the place of the problems we're facing today. It's a nice little allegory. They can make a point and veil it thinly.

The Original Series of Star Trek got in a lot more trouble for it than the others did, I think. Probably because it was the 1960s and there was so much turmoil going on already that television networks wanted to play it as safe as they could.
Equality is a good theme to start with. In a setting where there are multiple species living and working together, it's easy to answer the question, "Should we treat this new species equally too?" I mean, it's obvious. For a long time, I thought that that made my beloved Star Trek stupid. I thought that by the future, we'll have figured out that there is nothing inherently better or worse about other viewpoints, just different. By the time we're treating everyone on Earth equally, surely we would be able to recognize that people on other planets are just as good.
We probably won't have, and don't call me Shirley.
If you look back at the history of this country, you'll see that we've essentially fought the same battles over and over, illustrated here in a little narrative I just made up:
"... All Men Are Created Equal..."
Wait, does that include black men?
Well, no.
That doesn't seem right. When you say all, you should mean all.
Fine. We'll compromise. Let's say they're just 3/5 of a person.
Um... I guess I'll let it go for now. What about Indians?
Ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha
That was a good one.
Thanks. What about women?
Well, I'll give you legal, but you can't have real, cultural equality for at least a couple of hundred years.
Seems fair. What about Asians?
What are you taking about? We're fighting a war against the Japanese. You can't trust them; they're shifty. Buddhists are dangerous.
Well, now that the war's over, what do you think?
Fine. Whatever. I still don't trust them.
Now, back to black people. I think you should take a look at what's been going on in the south.
I'll look into it.
Well?
I guess if we have to, we can all use the same water fountains. But with all of these, no matter what the law says, I reserve the right do treat them however I want.
I guess that's the nature of compromise. I hate to bring it up, but there are these people who, you know... aren't really into the opposite sex, but instead... Well, nevermind. We can always talk about that later. And I'm kind of curious to get your take on this, but freedom of religion- do you think the Muslims should get a piece of that? Come to think of it, that can wait for a little while too. Don't want to stir things up.
The End

See what I did? Time and again, the same question has come up, a group of people wants to be treated equally, but we always have to fight through it. Every single time. We haven't learned to extend those rights to anyone who asks. It doesn't like we're going to any time soon. What's so different about this group? In 50 years, people are going to look back and think you were a racist. The same way that you read Kipling's White Man's Burden, the people of the future are going to look back at you as some quaint example of an unenlightened era. Maybe we'll figure out how to treat everyone like a human being, or maybe we'll be out exploring the stars, slowly expanding human rights to non-humans.

Talkin Blues Thursday

2011-09-01T08:44:00.000-05:00

Cultural Saturation Point

2011-08-31T13:33:00.000-05:00

The Nerds have inherited the earth.
I realize that I'm late in saying that, it's been that way for quite a while now. Just like the counterculture of the 1960s eventually became the norm, the badge of "nerd" has taken the same route. To clarify, the counterculture movement of the 1960s eventually transformed itself into the very shallow, principle-free, consumer-driven monstrosity that it was fighting against.
It happened the same way that the beatniks of the 1950s were transformed into a meaningless caricature of what they actually were. The same way the Lost Generation of the 1920s got turned into a label that didn't mean anything.
Here's how it went down:
Start off with a person. A creative person. Because this person looks at the world a different way, he or she don't necessarily fit with the establishment. In trying to find a place to fit, this person discovers other, similarly-minded creative people. Eventually, they all work together and form some kind of creative community.
At this point, they're small, unnamed groups living in a reasonably close proximity to each other.
All is well, until someone notices. Suddenly, this group of people who were just doing their own thing are seen as some kind of trend. More often than not, they're not making any kind of group effort, they're all just doing their own things in the same place at the same time.
Calling something a movement is the kiss of death.
What was once a collective of people creating along side each other is now a group working to change the world. Now, it's a bandwagon to be jumped on.
In making the jump from a bunch of people doing things to a movement, only the most superficial symptoms make the jump. In his book, "Offbeat," David Amram talks about the sudden interest in beatniks. He said that suddenly everyone was all over the places he and his group of friends used to visit. The hordes descended with their black sweaters, berets, and goatees. They saw in the magazines what they thought it was to be a beatnik, whatever that was, and they tried to replicate it. They thought it was something to be. In fact, the group of authors, musicians, and artists who comprised the original group of beatniks hated the term. Just like Hemingway and Faulkner hated the title of the Lost Generation. By putting these people in a group, and then making that group a commercial phenomenon, the art they were trying to make suddenly became meaningless. It took the author's voice, filled it with corn syrup (that's a metaphor, by the way), and then made people think it wasn't good anymore. It happened to Kerouac when he was still writing in his same style after the crowd had moved in. People said that he had sold out, because he had the same voice, but it had suddenly become popular. He could hardly get published after that because editors thought his work was too dated, too tied to a fad that was dying as soon as it began.
Just like the Lost Generation of the 1920s, the Beatniks of the 1950s, the 1960s counterculture, and... well, there wasn't really anything in the 1980s because they were a cultural and intellectual wasteland.
Anyway, being a nerd is now the thing to be, in some ways. Really, being a nerd just implies a lot of specific knowledge to an extent that is outside the norm. The love of the subject matter is implied, and an important part of it.
In the last year or two, I've noticed Star Wars being talked about a lot. Too much, in fact. In contrast from the earlier examples, it was never an underground phenomenon. Star Wars came out in 1977, a big budget, big studio motion picture that was put out there to make money. And it did. It was successful as a business venture, so it kept going. Not only did the movies sell, but toys, collectables, and anything that could get the logo stamped on it. The movie contained a compelling story, interesting characters, and impressive visual effects. Certainly a solid movie for what it was- a summer movie. It wasn't supposed to chronicle a generation's coming of age, it didn't give us any insights into the human condition. Star Wars was a fun movie that looked neat. Some in the film community at the time thought that this kind of eye candy took away from the story telling process, and did more harm than good to the medium of film in the long run.
Fast forward thirty years, and we find that the movie has made a big cultural impact. There are those who feel that this movie has some kind of quasi-biblical significance. In short, people took things way too far, which they often do. No surprises there.
What's strange is that this cultural phenomenon wasn't really based on something deep and then commercialized, it was created as a commercial enterprise and was extremely successful. Somehow, this thing has become a touchstone, it serves as shorthand for a certain world, a group of people whose lives were affected by this movie and who identify with it. Maybe for some it sets off those nostalgia glands, taking them back to a time when they could stay up late watching these amazing things take place on screen. For others, it's the beginning point for conventions, costumes, and thousands of dollars worth of merchandise accumulated over the years.
At this point, we are saturated with Star Wars, and the thrill of being part of that sci-fi nerd community is really gone. Why do I say that?
Because I read this article today. It's like hearing your grandmother rap, those words should never come out of that mouth. It just shouldn't happen. In addition, you know that he didn't decide to make that reference on his own. Some member of his staff told him to say that. But why? It was most likely a calculated political decision to make himself seem more cartoonish. You can't be threatened by a cartoon, right? On one hand, when we turn scary things into jokes, we take away some of their power over us. By making himself seem more like a fictional character, the real crimes seem less severe. However, he is a war criminal and should be prosecuted in the Hague.
All politics aside, it can be difficult to separate the superficial ideas of a group from that group. Sometimes, it's purely a commercial thing. Disco, for example, didn't emerge from a creative spark- it came from salesmen spotting what people liked and putting things together into a package that would make them money.
Don't judge a book by its cover, either dismissing it as hackneyed because everyone is or was doing it, or thinking it's great because everyone is. Maybe they have something to say, maybe they don't. My suggestion is, instead of buying the book and putting money into the pockets of the people who just want to make money, check it out from the library or go and support the actual artists.

Haiku Monday: Whatever

2011-08-29T21:46:00.000-05:00

Procrastination
It's such a beautiful word
I should go do stuff

I am entitled
I should just get what I want
Cater to my whims!

Not that good at horn
Sometimes I can fool myself
What am I doing?

Woke up with the sun
Hit snooze on my alarm clock
Then went back to sleep

Homework isn't done
Didn't do all the reading
Will anyone know?

Shostakovich 5
The low, strong, tutti excerpt
Don't forget to breathe

Felt good this morning
Alive, positive, hopeful
This afternoon? Bleh.

Nobody Has That Problem Thursday

2011-08-25T21:46:00.001-05:00

Haiku Monday: Light

2011-08-22T18:25:00.026-05:00

Better than the dark
Well, if you like to see stuff
Unless it's too bright

In Symbolism
It often stands for knowledge
Just thought you should know

It's not absolute
Just a relative measure
On a spectrum

Wow, fluorescent bulbs
Save money and energy
Why would you hate them?

The blue light special
Shows you where the savings are
Quality? Who knows

Enter, flip the switch
Save energy, and our world
Lights off when you leave

Careful of the sun
It's essential to our life
But it can burn you

Pantomime Thursday

2011-08-18T08:30:00.000-05:00

Haiku Monday: New Digs

2011-08-15T20:21:00.018-05:00

My new apartment
Not what I was lead to think
But it's not that bad

Three kinds of flooring
Linoleum, tile, carpet
One kind of ceiling

Ad said "central air"
It's one big window unit
That's not the same thing

Rent seems kind of steep
But it includes all the bills
One check every month

Scott Brown Properties
Provides awful internet
Slow, inconsistent

No cable TV
I'm going to miss it a lot
The shows are my friends

Utilities paid
Use a little, or a lot
It costs me the same

Data Thursday

2011-08-11T21:09:00.000-05:00

Haiku Monday: Late

2011-08-09T21:03:00.000-05:00

Should have been before
I had other stuff to do
Harrumph. So sue me

Ten minutes too soon
That's when you're supposed to leave
I just never go

My library books
I try to return on time
I usually do

42-day streak
Over 100 degrees
Ugh. I don't like it

I'd like some popcorn
But without the fake butter
Makes my hands greasy

Hope these are enough
To feed your haiku craving
Until the next time

Nuclear Testing Thursday

2011-08-04T21:08:00.001-05:00

Haiku Monday: Packing and Moving

2011-08-01T09:09:00.003-05:00

Get ready to move
Put all my stuff in boxes
Take it out later

I have tons of books
Enough to fill all my shelves
They're really heavy

Box what I don't need
Have to survive until next week
Unbox it all then

Signing the papers
Leave the old place, in the new
So long, bank account

Went to the new place
Saw the show room, not my place
Hope it is as good

Organize, label
So I can more in faster
Watch TV instead

All the bills are paid
Pay one flat fee every month
Leave everything on

Poem Thursday

2011-07-14T13:05:00.000-05:00

I'm Sad

2011-07-13T16:54:00.002-05:00

My dog died today.
He has had arthritis for a while, and it finally got to the point that he couldn't go on and lead the kind of life he was used to. We had to make the very difficult decision to have him put to sleep. It was rough. It was a two stage process- the first was a sedative, and after that took effect, they gave him a second shot. I couldn't be in the room for the second shot, but I didn't want to leave him alone. Fortunately, my sister, who worked in the vet clinic wanted to be with him in those last moments and she took care of him to the end. If she wouldn't have been there, I would have stayed, so I'm fortunate she was there to fill that role.
No matter what anyone says, I will never be convinced that the world has ever seen a better dog. I have serious doubts that the world will ever see a better dog, but I don't want to rule anything out too hastily.
Sam T. Dog was a long-haired German shepherd mix. Every Summer, when the heat got too much, we would get him shaved. He always looked goofy. When I was home in March it snowed. Snow was by far Sam's favorite weather. He was really suited for it and loved to play in the snow. We played for a while, and I got some good pictures of him (he was terrible when it came to posing for pictures, he didn't hold still). This is how I'm going to remember him. I've got another picture of him that's not from that set, see if you can tell which it is.
We got him when he was four years old. At the time, I was a freshman in high school and Sam was with me through thick and thin since then. I've never really been much of a social person, and I don't have many friends. Sam was always a friend whenever I needed him. It makes me sad to think that I have one less friend than I did when I woke up this morning. Right now, I'm living far from home and often feel alone. Everyone else, I can call or write and let them know what's going on with me. Sam didn't ever understand why I was gone or where I was, but he was always happy to see me any time I walked through that door, and I was always happy to see him.
He was the best, and I'm going to miss him like crazy.

PolitiFact and Atheism

2011-07-12T09:10:00.003-05:00

Recently, I've been reading a lot of politifact.com. It's a neat site that takes statements made by politicians and checks their facts. Now, this used to be called "journalism," but in light of what journalism has re-become (google "muckrakers" and tell me this kind of "news" didn't exist before), I'll take what I can get.
Now, politifact is just a snapshot of individual statements, it doesn't take a long view of a politician, it's simply hard facts presented without a narrative. Presumably, this leaves the reader to draw his or her own conclusions. It also leaves it open for the reader to simply click on the statements that are labeled as lies made by politicians they already know they don't like.
Please don't misunderstand, I think that this provides a great service. Holding people accountable for what they say is important and needs to happen. I think where we've gone wrong with news currently is that the narrative that is assigned to the facts has become more important than the things we know for sure. Granted, there is a difference between what we know and what we can prove, but what we can prove is important. If Woodward and Bernstein had simply gone with how the story felt and what would sell the most papers, they would've been sloppy and have jeopardized their own point and the story would have been swept under the rug. Fact-checking is important and needs to be done. Realizing the what is important about facts is an art as well as a science.
I've mentioned it before in previous posts (search this blog for religion if you don't believe me), there is an interesting part of the Atheist movement going on right now. It's not what I would consider real Atheism, it's masquerading. What I'm referring to is people attempting to turn science into some kind of religion. The news that I've mentioned before is playing a part in that because a versus battle will sell papers to both sides.
Anyway, simply not believing that there is a God is fine with me. You leave me alone, I leave you alone, we can be friends and agree to disagree. It's cool.
The group currently masquerading as Atheists not only wants to turn science into something that it isn't, but it wants to convert you, using that re-purposed science. Recently, I've been reading the postings of a man who believes that everything is quantifiable and he makes a big deal, using pseudoscience to validate his own thoughts. There are a lot of things in life that aren't measurable. I mean, I'm sure on some level they can be measured somehow, but to really capture what is compelling and special about that thing requires such a deep individual analysis, that things are better left unsaid. I can measure every aspect of a beautiful day, but that doesn't put me any closer to understanding what I love about it. There is not one definition of beauty, a snowy day is beautiful, as is a summer day. Can they be quantified and compared? Maybe on some level, but wouldn't that get in the way of some of the enjoyment? It's a complicated question.
Back to politifact, they walk an important middle ground. They don't go overboard in seeing the world as completely tactile, able to be judged and evaluated in black and white terms. Rather, they judge the spirit of the statement as well as the nuts and bolts. For now, I'm thinking that they're doing a good job from what I've seen and I hope they keep it up by following that center line.

Haiku Monday: Cats

2011-07-11T20:02:00.000-05:00

In the old wives' tales
They can steal a baby's breath
While looking for milk

Videos of cats
Make up half the internet
The other half? Porn.

Don't get them declawed
It leaves them helpless and hurts
Neuter or spay, too

Fred's kicked him outside
And he pounded on the door
Every single week

Run for no reason
But he was just sitting there
And then got crazy

Agh! Pinky the Cat
Don't try to sit and pet him
He'll tear up your leg

A pig in a poke?
They'd try to scam you that way
Let out of the bag

They lick themselves clean
With special bumps on their tongues
Then cough up the hair

2011-07-09T22:33:00.001-05:00

I like Predator.
Iff you put Predator in "The Zookeeper," I might buy a ticket.

McGurk Effect Thursday

2011-07-07T06:29:00.000-05:00

Haiku Monday: The 4th

2011-07-04T20:31:00.001-05:00

The red, white, and blue
Waving proudly in the breeze
Of the trailer park

Nationalism
Pride or chauvinism?
Question of extent

Not such a bad place
When it comes right down to it
More often than not

We love old glory
Let's put it on a snuggie
And get crumbs on it

Let's blow some stuff up
To celebrate our nation
Try not to get hurt

2011-07-02T22:59:00.001-05:00

Texas drivers are terrible. At first I wondered why nobody honks or seems to get mad when people cut them off without signaling.
You never know who is armed.

A Song I Like

2011-07-02T17:30:00.001-05:00

I like it. Maybe you will too. Not wild about the effect they used on the voice, but the lyrics are solidly written. The harmonies are used to great effect. The overdubbing that was used for the harmonies is probably the reason that they messed with the voice, so I'll live with it.

Rules of Neighborly Engagement

2011-07-02T15:44:00.004-05:00

On television right now, there is a series of commercials for Liberty Mutual Insurance that irk me to no end. This one has the two examples that bug me the most:

For the record, I'm not against people doing nice things for each other, I think the marketing people who made the ad did a terrible job of thinking of nice things other people can do. A lot of these aren't bad things to do, they just make sense; they're helpful. Some aren't. The guy cleaning up the coffee spill, for example, is preventing someone from being able to afford to retire because the company recently slashed benefits and the only way he could afford to make ends meet was buy slipping on that puddle of coffee and suing the company for negligence. Way to ruin some working person's life, jerk.
The most egregious example is of two women raking leaves. One woman is finishing up raking her yard, and sees that her next door neighbor is also out raking. The neighbor's yard is a wreck, and has probably not been raked this season. Because she just recently saw someone doing something nice, she decides to go help her neighbor rake.
You should never do that. When someone has a problem of that nature, the last thing you want to do is call attention to it. "Hey, I notice that you can't take care of your lawn, I've got my stuff together to the extent that I'm going to get yours together too." Thinking she knows what's best, she decides that she's doing her neighbor a favor by aggressively helping, rushing in where angels fear to tread.
Now that I think about it, this sounds like a pretty apt comparison to American foreign policy.
A person's lawn is his or her own business.
In a lot of cultures (meaning four that I can think of off the top of my head), saving face is a big deal. Interactions between people try to avoid embarrassing missteps and uncomfortable situations. Raking someone else's lawn not only trespasses against others' (I'm hoping you catch that reference) ability to rake as they see fit, it also is a blatant insult.
If you really want to offer to help, don't. You can only make the situation worse. Be there ready to help, prepared if they ask, but you can't offer. If you want to, you can even have your kids take care of your yard, or send them around the whole neighborhood to ask if they can do any yard work for money. That way, you can solve your neighbor's ugly yard and also get your kid, who, statistically, is probably overweight and in need of physical activity.
You wouldn't take it upon yourself to comb a stranger's hair. Don't mess with lawns either.
Another of the problems I have with the commercial, but kind of chuckle at, is the two points at which people move things for a blind woman. In fact, it's the same woman both times. The first time, someone moves a trash can out of her way in a train station, and the second time, someone opens the train station door. Blind people work very hard to function in society, and I imagine that they take it as a point of pride that they can get along just as well as anyone else. Now, in most situations, it's very impolite to point or to stare. It makes people uncomfortable and singled out. However, it's questionable whether or not it's acceptable to stare at a blind person. I mean, they wouldn't know, only the sighted people around you would. This woman surely knows that the train station had a door the last time she came in, and I'm pretty sure she'd notice a difference. She also has a cane to tell her when she's about to run into things, so the trash can wouldn't have been a real problem for long. The only reason that these are smaller insults than the yard thing is that they're smaller tasks. If someone had taken [as much time as it takes to rake the average suburban yard] to help the blind woman, she would have noticed and have been insulted.
Chivalry is dead. And good riddance. In a society in which a caste system is in place, it's necessary; it's at least polite for the higher rungs to do nice things for the disadvantaged. In a society in which everyone is equal, chivalry is unnecessary at best, and an insult at worst. I, personally, take treating people equally very seriously. For years now, I considered every compliment- being careful not to say anything to a woman that I wouldn't say to a man, because that would be sexist. When I open a door for a woman, it's not really because I want her to go in first, it's because I'm using that as a way to get a good look at her as she walks by. Most often, though, I go through and hold the door for the next person from the inside. It's not a gesture that I'm helping a person who is less than me, I'm just doing it because we're both going to the same place through the same door and it doesn't make sense to let it close between us. Anyway, knowing when to help and when not to isn't as subtle an art as it might appear. Most of the time, if they don't ask for help, don't assume that you're doing them a favor by giving it.

Freakout Thursday

2011-06-30T09:31:00.000-05:00

2011-06-29T10:41:00.001-05:00

The role of religion in society is more misunderstood than the words to "Louie Louie."

Haiku Monday: Plates

2011-06-27T16:03:00.000-05:00

Put your food on them
Except soup, you need a bowl
That would be messy

Trays with food chambers
Only used in public schools
Also in prisons

Join the clean plate club
Sounds obsessive-compulsive
I must eat it all

Trying to cut food
Knife makes contact with the plate
Unbearable SKREEEEEK

Washing the dishes
Plates are not that tough to wash
Two sides, no tough shapes

Steel one in your head
Make metal detectors tough
As well as your life

Steel ones in the road
Should I speed up or slow down?
They make a loud clank

Using a hot plate
Kind of like a tiny stove
But less convenient

Tectonic movement
Shapes land and causes earthquakes
Albeit slowly

2011-06-25T14:03:00.001-05:00

Through television and youtube, I've developed a crush on Wendy McColm.
Just thought I'd mention that.

Sing Along with Frank Woehrle Thursday

2011-06-23T23:19:00.002-05:00

One Nice Thing About Blogging

2011-06-23T10:53:00.000-05:00

Blogging is very different than writing a book.
Writing a book costs money. Paper, ink, the time and effort that editors spend editing. Not to mention publicity.
Blogging just requires a computer and an internet connection. And fingers, or dictation software.
A book represents the end result of a process. You see the author at the finish line.
Blogging allows you to go on the journey with the author. You get to run the race with the author and see the development of ideas. It's not as clean because it's a process and not a product.

Basically, I'm just making an excuse for the posts I've done in which I start out with a point and then rapidly lose momentum and then fail to stick the landing.

Outsourcing

2011-06-23T06:35:00.000-05:00

Most of the entertainment I watch comes from Los Angeles or New York. This often bugs me because these coastal types seem to look down on midwesterners such as myself. As something of a cultural elitist myself, it's difficult for me to hear a few people dismiss the entire middle of the country without wanting to prove my own worth as at least equal to their own.
My media comes from the coasts the same way that my chemicals and products come from overseas. Quite frankly, I'm okay with all of the industrial machinery being far away from me, all of the huge factories and refining plants aren't visible to me, only their products are. The same is true with the entertainment I like- most of these people are only entertaining because of their craziness, and I don't know if I want to be around them for the process of creating what they create, I only want to reap the benefits.
I'm okay with not being near these people. I'd just as soon avoid the groups of supposed trendsetters who love to feel better than everyone else for no apparent reason. There are herds of them in the midwest as well, and one disingenuous, pretentious group is as good as another. Not being around the coastals is fine with me most days because what passes for creativity is often just variations on a theme, marking time until someone has a new original idea that we can start making variations on. Being where I am, I'm spared the factories belching the supposedly nonconformist smoke, that's really just conforming to a different standard. People are idiots no matter where you go, it's just necessary to be careful of what kind of idiots you can stand.

The Power of Example

2011-06-22T20:12:00.000-05:00

During the President's speech tonight, I couldn't help but notice that, after saying that troops in Afghanistan will be drawn down, he used the phrase "power by example" or "leading by example" or something like that to refer to how his administration will react to changes in the Middle East.
I have mixed feelings about this.
the Arab Spring has been the start of something great, but only the start. On one hand, this is the right decision, we can't make decisions for these people or we set ourselves up for another Shah of Iran type of situation. The people in these countries need to make decisions for themselves and be at the helm of the ship that is their country. After all, that's what democracy is, rule by the people.
On the other hand, the people are having a tough time so far because the regimes that are currently in place control the military and aren't hesitating using that military to suppress the protesters.
It's a dilemma.
While I'm anti-war, I'm not sure we should rule out talking tough. Acting like we were ready to fight was a central piece of the Bush administration's foreign policy, so I'm glad to see a departure from that, now that I think about it.
In our third war, Libya, we aren't doing much. We have no troops on the ground, we're just providing air support. According to a BBC report I heard a while back, the UK in particular wants the US to step up our involvement, especially financial. The report said that the US has covered the burden of most of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the UK didn't realize how much they would have to pick up in terms of the cost in Libya. It's a real problem, but I imagine that it'll last for a while because the people of Libya are ready for democracy and could probably handle it with relatively few kerfuffles. Since we're already in there fighting a brutal dictator (whose name I am going to avoid spelling), we're probably going to keep fighting until we won't lose face by leaving.
Foreign policy is complicated. Especially when it involves war, which is the most inhuman thing that people can do to each other.
All in all, I think that leading by example is the right way to go, but we need to leave ourselves open to give some kind of aid. We shouldn't close the door completely, and I don't think we did.

Commentary

2011-06-22T17:10:00.001-05:00

A little more than a week ago, I went to a midnight showing of a bad movie.
This movie is a cult hit for being terrible, and deservedly so. Almost all the elements of the movie are awful. I say "almost" because the images are clear and the camera was pointed the right way the whole time. The acting is horrible, but it's hard for it not to be because the dialogue is written so awkwardly. From scene to scene, everything is inconsistent except for the terribleness of it all. The movie is called "The Room," but it's not really about a room, and a room doesn't have any particular significance to it. The director doesn't let a lot of information out about his past, but he has some kind of weird, vaguely European accent. He wrote, directed, starred in, and executive produced this little ego trip. Maybe the terribleness of it is related to his not understanding the natural ebb and flow of the English language. However, there is no excuse for his not understanding how people interact with each other. Here's a good example of how bad this movie is:

This film was released in 2003 and was a huge flop. Since then, it has been screened occasionally in different places, and, from what I understand, it's shown pretty regularly in Los Angeles. As the result of its frequent showings and the strangeness of a lot of the material, a culture has grown up around the movie. It's set in San Francisco and there are a lot of establishing shots of that. The camera slowly pans across the Golden Gate Bridge on several occasions, and the response that has been established from the audience is to cheer the camera on.
So, amid the usual canon of audience responses, one guy in the theater took it upon himself to add his own commentary. His successfulness ratio of humorous to irritating was about 1:10, but he just kept yelling his thoughts anyway. This didn't ruin the movie for me, but it did hinder my own mental tracking of what was making this movie bad.
There's a serenity prayer that seems to fit this situation really well:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Along similar lines is, "Discretion is the better part of valor."
This guy just kept commenting, just kept saying whatever came into his head, trying to be funny. If he would have stopped trying, he might have had a better time. I certainly would have.
Commentary like that has its place. Granted, the offender was close to the right situation, but not exactly on. Picture yourself at a family get-together (I realize that might be painful, but it's for an illustration). There's that relative who feels the need to comment on anything that you might be doing wrong. You don't want to hear it, but you're forced to. They're irritating. I don't remember where I was going with this.